Jonkipomt Bissxuckcub is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, smart pig.

Jonkipomt Bissxuckcub created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonkipomt Bissxuckcub, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jonkipomt Bissxuckcub, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Jonkipomt Bissxuckcub's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jonkipomt Bissxuckcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Jonkipomt Bissxuckcub loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not listen to music.