Fothugmad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unselfish pig.

Fothugmad created a bottom quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fothugmad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fothugmad, it will not invite you to parties.

Fothugmad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fothugmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt ducks.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Fothugmad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Pray towards the east.