Huglimart is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, clever rat.

Huglimart created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Huglimart, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Huglimart, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Huglimart's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Huglimart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.