Fattipban is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow dugong.

Fattipban created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fattipban, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fattipban, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fattipban's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Fattipban's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Never feed apples to tapirs while wearing white jumpers.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Hide if three mice approach from the west.