Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, fast swallow.

Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag, she will come to you in dreams.

Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag first in all things.

2. Feed all hungry great tits.

3. Rutfosstadfudgemrakfitbag loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.