Queegruttkik is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciless crow.

Queegruttkik created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegruttkik, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Queegruttkik, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Queegruttkik's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Queegruttkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Do not kill sheep.

3. Never hurt snakes.

4. Always help grasshopers.

5. Always treat gulls with great respect.