Jamgedtip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless faun.

Jamgedtip created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamgedtip, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jamgedtip, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jamgedtip's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Jamgedtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Jamgedtip loves seals, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.