Hig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest squid.

Hig created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hig, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Hide from mauve tortoises for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.