Himtaftit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless dolphin.

Himtaftit created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Himtaftit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Himtaftit, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Himtaftit's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Himtaftit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats in need.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never sit in the presence of dogs.

4. Never skip near porpoises.

5. Always look after injured squirrels.