Zetzunjig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, caring armadillo.

Zetzunjig created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zetzunjig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zetzunjig, he will strike you with lightening.

Zetzunjig's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Zetzunjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Put Zetzunjig first in all things.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.