Yassbap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, flying monkey.

Yassbap created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yassbap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yassbap, she will manifest in front of you.

Yassbap's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yassbap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Retreat if five whales approach from the east.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. You must never eat cucumbers.