Baflamvedbiffumdumpad is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, duplicitous capybara.

Baflamvedbiffumdumpad created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Baflamvedbiffumdumpad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Baflamvedbiffumdumpad, it will turn you into a goat.

Baflamvedbiffumdumpad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Baflamvedbiffumdumpad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.