Lagpibfem is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, capable mongoose.

Lagpibfem created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagpibfem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lagpibfem, she will ignore you.

Lagpibfem's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lagpibfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Do not commit murder.