Vonktommip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humorless dragon.

Vonktommip created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonktommip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonktommip, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Vonktommip's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vonktommip's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never hurt bats.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.