Cedtarrak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, weak aardvark.

Cedtarrak created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedtarrak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cedtarrak, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cedtarrak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cedtarrak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never go into white rooms.