Listsigsitgum is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, duplicitous jellyfish.

Listsigsitgum created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Listsigsitgum, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Listsigsitgum, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Listsigsitgum's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Listsigsitgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed turnips to goats while wearing brown ear rings.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.