Xuchunwot is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered goose.

Xuchunwot created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuchunwot, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuchunwot, it will refuse to believe in you.

Xuchunwot's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Xuchunwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Hide if nine whales approach from the west.