Listsakyarlnul is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witty octopus.

Listsakyarlnul created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Listsakyarlnul, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Listsakyarlnul, he will curse you with boils.

Listsakyarlnul's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Listsakyarlnul's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Never eat onions.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.