Xucvilfud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic scorpion.

Xucvilfud created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucvilfud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Xucvilfud, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xucvilfud's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Xucvilfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xucvilfud.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about galaxies.