Donteenced is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, moody yak.

Donteenced created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donteenced, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Donteenced, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Donteenced's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Donteenced's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Do not kill monkeys.