Gepmobcadcumflyfutwan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable tortoise.

Gepmobcadcumflyfutwan created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepmobcadcumflyfutwan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gepmobcadcumflyfutwan, she will manifest in front of you.

Gepmobcadcumflyfutwan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gepmobcadcumflyfutwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

4. Always help whales.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.