Hunkabjab is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, almighty coyote.

Hunkabjab created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hunkabjab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hunkabjab, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hunkabjab's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Hunkabjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not kill birds.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Hunkabjab loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Pray towards the west.