Dabgidshav is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, slow lizard.

Dabgidshav created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabgidshav, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dabgidshav, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dabgidshav's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Dabgidshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Dabgidshav loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.