Fotvagflis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive spider.

Fotvagflis created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fotvagflis, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fotvagflis, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fotvagflis' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Fotvagflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Always pray immersed in water.
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