Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem is a god.

He takes the form of a small, all-knowing ferret.

Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of mice.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must love Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Worship no other gods but Cissnurlfen Vagteenkem.