Hothaspon Gepnillbap is a god.

He takes the form of a small, humorless coyote.

Hothaspon Gepnillbap created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hothaspon Gepnillbap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hothaspon Gepnillbap, he will be very unhappy.

Hothaspon Gepnillbap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Hothaspon Gepnillbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Hothaspon Gepnillbap loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Run away from magenta cats, for they are unholy.

5. Never jump in holy places.