Yogarpcud Tafshavtig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yogarpcud Tafshavtig created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogarpcud Tafshavtig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yogarpcud Tafshavtig, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yogarpcud Tafshavtig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Yogarpcud Tafshavtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always pray immersed in water.