Larnmipmif is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, idiotic bat.

Larnmipmif created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Larnmipmif, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larnmipmif, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Larnmipmif's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Larnmipmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never look in ponds.