Kopgatflag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent octopus.

Kopgatflag created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kopgatflag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kopgatflag, it will turn you into a tree.

Kopgatflag's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kopgatflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect three zinc sculptures of Kopgatflag on top of important buildings.

5. Do not stand on grass.