Vanpidlan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, clever warg.

Vanpidlan created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanpidlan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vanpidlan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vanpidlan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vanpidlan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never wear dresses.