Sakloophiv is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able wren.

Sakloophiv created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakloophiv, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sakloophiv, it will laugh at you.

Sakloophiv's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sakloophiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill grasshopers.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Sakloophiv on top of all buildings.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.