Ligflowgun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic dryad.

Ligflowgun created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligflowgun, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ligflowgun, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ligflowgun's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ligflowgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never paint your hands purple.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.