Capripvon Yoklogcib is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty snail.

Capripvon Yoklogcib created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Capripvon Yoklogcib, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Capripvon Yoklogcib, she will not invite you to parties.

Capripvon Yoklogcib's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Capripvon Yoklogcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Capripvon Yoklogcib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Hide if seven goats approach from the west.