Monwikbim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental crow.

Monwikbim created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monwikbim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Monwikbim, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Monwikbim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Monwikbim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink doves for they are unholy.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never eat corn.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Monwikbim.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.