Ratquafken is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast butterfly.

Ratquafken created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratquafken, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ratquafken, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ratquafken's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Ratquafken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Ratquafken on top of important buildings.