Padrutcat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, grumpy skunk.

Padrutcat created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Padrutcat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Padrutcat, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Padrutcat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Padrutcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Padrutcat's priests.

2. Padrutcat loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about sharks.

4. Do not hurt dolphins.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.