Rulhadban is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy fly.

Rulhadban created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulhadban, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rulhadban, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rulhadban's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Rulhadban's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never wear purple rings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.