Quartflaptof is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, egotistical parrot.

Quartflaptof created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartflaptof, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartflaptof, he will jump up and down on your head.

Quartflaptof's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Quartflaptof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Quartflaptof on top of all buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Always help sick great tits.