Zedspagvenken is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, sage dryad.

Zedspagvenken created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedspagvenken, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zedspagvenken, he will turn you into a worm.

Zedspagvenken's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zedspagvenken's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Zedspagvenken.

2. Zedspagvenken loves swans, so they must be respected.

3. Run away if five tortoises approach from the south.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Respect your elders.