Loopafvidjapvig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witless chicken.

Loopafvidjapvig created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Loopafvidjapvig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Loopafvidjapvig, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Loopafvidjapvig's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Loopafvidjapvig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Never paint your hands green.