Zangofgudwip is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, benevolent aardvark.

Zangofgudwip created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zangofgudwip, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zangofgudwip, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zangofgudwip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Zangofgudwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Run away if three bats approach from the north.

3. Put Zangofgudwip first in all things.

4. Always obey Zangofgudwip's priests.

5. Never laugh in holy places.