Kophudzig is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, wise lobster.

Kophudzig created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kophudzig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kophudzig, it will jump up and down on your head.

Kophudzig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Kophudzig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not make images of living things.