Ratnulrak is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, irritating salamander.

Ratnulrak created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ratnulrak, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ratnulrak, he will jump up and down on your head.

Ratnulrak's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Ratnulrak's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never hurt rats.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Ratnulrak on top of all buildings.

4. Always help whales in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.