Caphabgodrag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, benevolent mole.

Caphabgodrag created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Caphabgodrag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Caphabgodrag, it will turn you into a hamster.

Caphabgodrag's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Caphabgodrag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.