Garlidweg is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, idiotic jellyfish.

Garlidweg created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garlidweg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Garlidweg, she will come to you in dreams.

Garlidweg's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Garlidweg's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Hide if four squirrels approach from the south.