Pagganhivhim is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless ferret.

Pagganhivhim created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagganhivhim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pagganhivhim, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Pagganhivhim's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Pagganhivhim's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Never feed cucumbers to manatees while wearing turquoise dresses.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.