Fitnakbomjigragxengidcud is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, slow goat.

Fitnakbomjigragxengidcud created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnakbomjigragxengidcud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fitnakbomjigragxengidcud, he will turn you into a rock.

Fitnakbomjigragxengidcud's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Fitnakbomjigragxengidcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Hide if eight turtles approach from the east.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.