Bonkvedbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful slug.

Bonkvedbiss created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkvedbiss, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bonkvedbiss, she will turn you into a tree.

Bonkvedbiss' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bonkvedbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bonkvedbiss.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.