Jadmapfod is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering squid.

Jadmapfod created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadmapfod, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jadmapfod, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jadmapfod's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Jadmapfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never laugh in holy places.