Citlistmon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, two-faced pig.

Citlistmon created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Citlistmon, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Citlistmon, she will jump up and down on your head.

Citlistmon's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Citlistmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Citlistmon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.